Matt Driver introduces some of the psychology and theories underpinning our methodology of coaching.

A big challenge, even for the most experienced coach, is being able to give full and genuine attention to their client throughout the conversation.  

This is rather more challenging than it can sound, because very often a coach’s attention is taken away by the content of what their client speaks about or, perhaps even more often, by their own wish to find solutions and next steps.

In our coaching programmes, we focus on the skill of building rapport with clients. This is far more than the traditional 'eye contact and not interrupting', which was often taught on personal development programmes in the past.  It is about building a presence with our clients which enables them to speak openly and honestly, often in ways that are not available elsewhere.

Perhaps many coaches aren’t aware that the kind of rapport we seek to build in coaching originates in the concept of unconditional positive regard first written about by Carl Rogers in the 1950s. This is much more about the quality of a coach’s presence, and their fundamental mindset, than it is about simplistic physical actions. So building rapport is not so much about getting to know our clients, and spending time in chitchat, as it is about being totally present and non-judgemental in that moment.

Rogers contrasted unconditional positive regard with conditional positive regard: this is the kind of parental or supervisory regard, which depends on the other person conforming to expectations.  It tends to have a punishing effect on the other person and does not support their own autonomy.

And this is why building rapport is indeed a skill, because for most people this does not happen naturally. It needs effort, preparation and mental grounding in the present.

As Rogers also pointed out, unconditional positive regard is something we don’t just have for our client - we need to have it for ourselves. In fact, it’s difficult to have that regard for my client if I don’t have that regard for myself.  

So the key question for any coach to ask themselves is: ‘what is my mindset about me, as well as about my client?’

Some of my university students, when they hear this expression, argue that it may not be possible to have unconditional positive regard for somebody who has, for example, committed a crime or assaulted another person.

It’s certainly true that where a client seems to hold values which contradict those held by the coach, they may need to end a professional relationship. However, there is a danger of misunderstanding unconditional positive regard, and confusing it with liking or agreeing with the other party.

This is not the case.

If a client has done something that they are ashamed of, embarrassed by, or may have led to prosecution, they may still need a space in which to think out how they move their life forward.  

So the coach may not condone what their client has done or is doing, but if they are skilful, they are able to hold a nonjudgmental space in which the client can think through whatever they need to.